Friday, July 6, 2012
Had me at hello...
Just when you think you have it all figured out, someone changes the game! I knew back in February when I interviewed that med school was going to be SERIOUS. Now that I've gotten the syllabi and reading lists, I've reaffirmed what I've always been afraid of: reading for hours on end and not understanding a thing! Although not a laughing matter, after reading a few pages for Gross Anatomy, I chuckled thinking "Is this really happening? Why can't I even paraphrase the main idea here? If I highlighted, these last few pages would've resembled a coloring book." Medical school is real people. And if I hear one more time, "It's fine. You'll be great! With your work ethic and ability, you can handle it"- I'll scream. It doesn't feel like that. From where I'm standing it doesn't seem like it ever will. I can foresee my test anxiety, reading comprehension and critical thinking skills or lack there of, all becoming problematic. Albeit, I will admit that it's early enough to get a hold on ALL of that. When I wake up I immediately think, I have SO much work to do. When in reality, that's not going to change for a long time. So, I should just suck it up and think about something more beneficial like what I'm going to eat for lunch. Not to mention it's still EXTREMELY hot here and I moved earlier in the week, so I no longer hit the gym right after class; I tackle the hurricane- my bedroom. I am happy to report that I'm still sticking to Insanity, sleeping at night, and smiling in between my mental melt downs. With week #2 of 6 in MAPS (Mini Academic Program for Success) completed, it's hard to envision any light in this tunnel. I would continue ranting and raving but I have a quiz in a week and I'm already behind....
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3 comments:
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off the goal. ~ Hannah More
So rooting all the way live for you!!!! XO
Oi!! I know the feeling...that's how I felt when I embarked on my college engineering career... I've had to read over things twice or even three times...after that is where hopefully a study-buddy could help if things are still difficult to deconstruct and make sense! Your brain will take some additional conditioning over the next few months and you'll start to get the hang of it. I know we expect to sometimes understand things or be able to think a certain way from the beginning, but unfortunately as we grow older we start to realize that the brain doesn't actually work that way. You'll sleep and have dreams and nightmares about this stuff - random words just revolving around your head (you may even shout "tympanic plexus" in your sleep). I remember doing this when I first took Calc 152...confirmed by my roommate that i was shouting words like "derivative" and "integrals" in my sleep.Though sometimes a traumatic experience it's all apart of how the brain learns. Once you get over the initial shock and continue in the conditioning process things will start to feel a little better but will remain difficult nonetheless. Keep on studying, asking questions, and laugh and cry when you need to. These mechanisms are given to you to cope! Keeping in the mind the quote above from "Apretty Flower" we are all rooting all the way for ya. So cry it out, jog it out, two-step it out when you need to, pull it together and "keep it moving."
Love,
Oxics
Great speech Oxics.........and yes, cry it out, jog it out, two-step it out, scream it out,5 minute meditate it out and get real quiet inside,and all that but continually search for that light at the end of the tunnel becaue it is there, yet most of all, PRAY............the angels will continue to carry you as they always have. Got soooooooooo much love for you and you know that!!!! I believe in you La'Nyia and if anyone can do it, I'd bet my life savings on YOU.
MY INSPIRATION ALWAYS......
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